How to Date Single Parents: Tips, Pitfalls, Words of Advice

In today’s world children are growing up within broken homes everyday. Some live with the fathers while many live with their mothers. Unfair as it may seem, it is the reality that we live in. This may be an obstacle for some without children when it comes to relationships.

After coming to terms with the fact that your potential mate is a single parent, it is up to you to decide if you want to continue the relationship or abandon the thought because you as a person just can’t afford the effort it takes. Once that is settled the process can begin.

For the people with the children: it is recommended that you inform the other person as promptly as possible. Many avoid this conversation at the beginning because in all honesty people do choose to stay away from the baggage, but this will only cause problems. For one thing the child is yours, and if you evade the fact, it seems as if you are ashamed or hiding something. Be proud of your accomplishment and let the person know right away. If they do choose to leave, then they are not the person for you any way.

 Try your best not to introduce the child with your partner so fast. The other person might feel as if you are rushing an “instant family” together, and everybody knows that in the beginning of any relationship force will never work. Take the relationship slow and learn as much as possible about this person. Find out if they like children, find out if they see children in their future. These questions will let you know as a parent if this person is right for your family.

 As for the child, they learn everything they see from their parents, whether it be vulgar language or songs from the radio, children see and try to emulate what their parents do. Imagine how the child would feel if you introduce them to a variety of mates over a short period of time. The inconsistency will only confuse them. For a child this can be tough because they are already feeling the affects of a split household. Bringing too many people in and out of their life at such a young age will deteriorate their sense of life.

For the people dating someone with children: First of all it is entirely your decision to stay or walk away, and if you decide to stay understand what you have on your plate. While relationships alone can be a little overwhelming, throwing a child in the mix intensifies it. Take the relationship slow and find out exactly where your mate is trying to go and where they are trying to take you. Chances are people with children aren’t really looking to fool around. In most cases they are trying to find something they can build on. If you aren’t in the hunt for a long term relationship chances are someone with a child isn’t the person for you.

 Understand that this child is not your responsibility and in most cases your mate will tell you that. You can tell if the single parent is looking for a free ride so keep your senses open. If the “other” parent is a large factor in this child’s life you have little to worry about, but if they are not this is where you have to ask your partner what exactly is expected of you. Many times single parents are just looking to have the comfort of the relationship, and that’s the answer you want.

 Since the child is not yours, you might find it difficult with interacting with him/her. Communicate with your mate and discuss rules and guidelines. This is why finding out what this person expects from you is so important. In many cases the single parent would rather you to have little or no part in the disciplining nor the educating of their child, but if they do, you have to ask yourself if that’s a responsibility you’re willing to take hold of.

 Now, even though many people react differently to a variety of situations, it is on you to make the best possible decision for you and those around you at that time. With a lot of communication and respect for the truth people can make it work, even if the child is yours or not.